(Editor’s note: This was posted almost a year ago on my blog The Skinny on January. It was near the end of my last pregnancy.)
Today, my emotional fire about birth began with an email. I emailed a doula friend of mine (she is now a midwife) and asked her if she would be willing to support a mama who wanted an unassisted childbirth. This doula is awesome! She truly trusts birth and honoring the choices of the pregnant/birthing mother.
Her reply informed me that she could not due to personal things going on in her life and that she did not know of anyone to recommend to support this mama. Apparently everyone is ‘jumpy’ as she put it. The state they are in is cracking down on midwives and doulas who ‘honor women’s birthing choices’.
WHAT?! Since when does the government get to tell a woman how to birth and tell other women that they can not support the birthing mama?! So, here is a mama wanting an unhindered birth and having a hard time of finding any support at all. She wants to birth how God (or nature or whatever you believe in) made her body to birth with no interference from people coming at her with fear (or knives) and no one can or will because they are afraid of their butts getting prosecuted for it. Hmmmm, should we get out the stakes and start burning those who are different once again?
We live in a time where it is all about ‘tolerance’. Tolerance for all races (which I agree with of course), for gay marriage, for pornography, abortion, etc. “To each their own.” We live in a day where doctors, the AMA, and the media can push the fear of death all over the place when it comes to things like birth and the swine flu! We live now, right now, where pharmaceutical companies jump on these opportunities to make BILLIONS of dollars from the fears of others. We tolerate all of this. But, if someone wants to tune out the media, wants to educate themselves, wants to keep drugs out of their bodies and believe in their innate intelligence, have faith in God and wants to have an unassisted birth, there is NO tolerance! Are you kidding me?!
Fear mongering. That is the best way I can describe it. Fear is contagious and it catches on more quickly than any ‘deadly’ disease! I am not about to be man handled (literally) again because of fear. I have worked through my fears. I have faith in myself, my body, my baby, my God! I know I can birth this baby without having my vagina cut. Without someone pulling on my baby’s head, without DRUGS! The interference is what causes most problems.
Infant mortality rates are still high in our country because of premature babies being born too often. My last baby was born at 44 weeks! If I had just given into fears or listened to any doctor and even some midwives, they would have wanted to cut me open at 38-40 weeks tops! That would have been 4-6 weeks too early for that baby! Can you imagine? As my chiropractor at the time put it, “She would have been severely compromised!” Good thing I fought for what I knew was right.
I do not care who supports what I am doing and who does not. I do not care what others think. I have to live with my birth experiences, no one else. And especially not the government or some doctor who does not know me. With my last birth (my VBA2C), the doctor who I had never met before this, came into my room, looked at me, gloved up and put his hand in my vagina! No introduction, didn’t ask, nothing. He thought because I was a woman on my back in labor that he was in control of me. I literally yelled at him, “GET OUT OF ME”! And he did.
In my opinion home birth is much, much safer than hospital birth. For me, the safest birth option at this point is an unassisted birth. To all the birthing women and any man who may support a birthing mama, read this again and again: EDUCATE YOURSELF, FIND YOUR VOICE AND DO WHAT IS BEST FOR THE MAMA AND BABY! This will be different for everyone. Do not look to others, especially doctors and hospitals for this answer. Look within. Once you find what the right thing is for you, DO NOT WAIVER. EVER.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Love it! So true- still an area where it is ok to discriminate and remove individual rights of liberty and human dignity.
Go mama go! Great post January!
January – I love your passion! I am in the process of searching for a midwife, in an area where I know no one who even has the desire to have what we would call a NORMAL birth. This really hit home for me today. Love ya!
January, you are such a voice for women who are not heard! I LOVE your passion too! And Mandi, I miss you and I know that you will find the path that is best for you and baby! I can’t wait to meet Baby #3!, some day, not too far away in the future I hope!
)
My wife is a Midwife and you hit it right on the head with all points you made above… but the totally unassisted birth can be a risky adventure if the couples don’t take the time to educate themselves and have proper backup if they run into a problem…
Yeah, we don’t recommend unassisted for everyone. For us, it was just the best option, of which we were very prepared for.