Attending graduate school is a huge task to take on. It involves dedication, hard work and perseverance. What happens when the student has a spouse and even children. Wow, right?! I have experienced this as the spouse with Chiropractic school.
Let’s step back and look at this from the spouse’s perspective. You see, the student may be the one taking the tests, but the spouse is the one giving up time with them or taking care of their children while they study. The student goes to board reviews and has to take boards, but the spouse is virtually alone and flying solo for 2 weeks during this (and sings praises when the test is over!).
Yes, the student has to sit through all the classes and study, but the spouse listens to endless hours of talk about neurology and biochemistry. The spouse hears about all the teachers and their annoying traits. The spouse knows about all the other students in that trimester as well as if they were personally in class with them. The spouse may as well be taking embryology too. When the student finishes student clinic, the spouse is grateful all the requirements were met and they can move on. When the student is in outpatient clinic, the spouse is also brainstorming ways to get new patients in and enough active PT’s (yuck) done. Not to mention all the seminars the student will want to do, which means weekends and more time away. Ya, I’m sure the spouse is effected by that in some way, right?
The late nights, stress, headaches, passed tests, failed practicals, triumphs, hurdles…are all shared with the spouse. The spouse literally lives it. The best part is, the student gets all the glory and attention. They are the ones working so hard, after all. They are the ones becoming the mighty Doctor.
Wait, we aren’t done. I don’t want to overlook the goal both student and spouse have sacrificed so hard for….GRADUATION! They did it. They finally did it (if they are still married). Finally, they are done. Are they? A friend of ours who is a chiropractor and teaches at one of the chiropractic colleges said, “The year after graduation is like a big black hole no one talks about.” He is spot on. Now the spouse gets to support the Doctor (no longer a student) in getting licensed, deciding whether to associate, interviewing for those positions, or start their own practice. I can’t even begin to express the amount of heartache and stress this can cause. They are broke, in a heap of student loans and either working for peanuts or trying to actually start a business. The doctor is not doing this alone. They are never alone if they have a spouse. Their spouse is just as dedicated because it is their life too, their income (or lack thereof), their future on the line.
To all you husbands and wives supporting your student, keep your head high. We know what it takes, what you are sacrificing and how much your support means to your student/Doctor.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, wonderfully written and dead on!
It sucks to be the spouse. Thanks for the post. Glad we are still married! HA!
It definitely is hard! I know first hand too, but it wasn’t as hard as I imagined it would be from all the stories I had heard, and I would not change any of it! Our marriage only got stronger because of our commitment and dedication to each other!
Now, he has a practice and supports us and me, as I am a work-at-home mom AND go to school via online courses to get my MS in Human Nutrition!
Support has to go both ways! Support and encourage each others’ dreams and your family and life will flourish!
My hubby is starting up classes later this year at Life University and I’ll admit… I’m terrified. We have 3 kids, no savings and will have to move across country to take this leap. But I truly believe in my husband and want to support him in this undertaking… I know he’ll be a great chiropractor and can see this being a turning point for us. Sometimes you gotta take a leap.
We walk by faith not by sight. Thanks for another great post January!
I had to comment just to say that I understand COMPLETELY and to let you know that once he does decide what’s next (which I think he has right!?) it doesn’t get any easier. It’s 60-70 hour weeks of working and trying to build a practice and a lot of frustration, pep talks, and understanding needed along the way!! You’re still a single mom most of the time and your still his biggest fan trying to keep him going when it looks like it may not work!! But I will say this, when you see that it IS working, that he is actually building a pratice and healing people, that God is blessing ALL of the blood, sweat, and tears, it makes it all worth it. I promise it does. Not easier, not forgotten, but worth it. Good luck to you and Brandon, we are praying for you. Melanie
January, really, this is a wonderful blog and you’ve honored so many spouses by posting this. Mabel Palmer truly deserves a spot right along side BJ because she sacrifriced their family for chiropractic – can you imagine what she went through? Again, great thoughts, look forward to your next one! – Erik
I wanted to thank you for your post. My wife is amazing and has stuck with me through the thick and thin. I am finishing up my first year and she has stayed home with the 3 boys while carrying our fourth and done it with a happy face. I owe all my success to her and her support. I couldn’t do it with out her.
Wow, thank you for all the nice comments. I am glad that this post helped and that many can relate.
Melanie, I hear ya! Yes, he is working and it’s actually harder in many ways. I knew it would be though.
Rock on Steve! Show your wife as much kindness and love as possible!
Anna, I know how you feel. Many of us do. You will get through it one step at a time.