I had a Facebook page with 1500 friends. It was an intense page. It started as a place for me to keep in touch with friends and to educate. It turned into a lot of debating and arguing. Recently I tried to change the tone of the page and did not allow any personal attacks. Out of the 1500 people, I probably only knew a few hundred.
I enjoyed this page a lot. I was able to reach out to people about chiropractic, parenting, birth, etc. I discovered many people really did learn from what I posted and many more decided to go see a chiropractor for themselves and their children.
I also despised this Facebook page. It was very time consuming, a way for me to run away from my hectic day and like I said, very intense. So, I deleted it. I talked about doing so in the past, but never did. I knew when I was done, I would just do it. No talking, just action. Out of 1500 ‘friends’ only about 15 have contacted me since deleting the page. I thought it would be hard, but it’s not. I don’t even miss it. It’s interesting once you let go of an attachment, you may realize that you were more attached to the idea of it than the actual thing itself.
My days are filled with less arguing, debating, putting out fires, deleting friends, being unfriended, drama and wasting hours. The only feeling that has come up is that I may not be reaching as many people. However, can’t I do this in real life, not just in a virtual world? If 20 children started chiropractic care because of my Facebook posts so far this year, can’t the same amount start the rest of the year by me networking with people in real life?
I have four young children who need my attention more than 1500 virtual friends do. The relationship with my children is unique. I am their only mother. They can only get the nurturing, love and care that a mother can give from me. My relationship with Facebook friends is not unique. They can befriend other people, there are plenty of pages and people that post the same things I did and they can find many of the same resources or debates elsewhere. Instead I can take my children out to meet other children and their mamas in real life. We can ‘add’ them as friends and educate by building a nourishing friendship! Much more productive.
By doing this, I have decluttered my life of unnecessary negativity and prioritized by putting my family first. What is going to matter more in 15 years? That I spent hours trying to tell someone they shouldn’t circumcise their son via Facebook or spending time playing games, reading books, going on outings, hugging and kissing, and teaching my children? Which one is going to help raise nice, hard working, happy adults for our society?
No, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Unfortunately sites like Facebook are very addicting and suck you right in. I do have a small personal page on Facebook. I know that this is just the way people keep in touch right now. I am doing so with my closest friends. I also have a birth page. Birth is my biggest passion right now. The page I have provides a healthy outlet for me where I feel I am productively reaching out and helping women. If at any point that changes, I’ll pass it on to someone else.
My priorities are God, family and then everything else. By having clutter like Facebook, etc in my life, it overshadows the importance of nourishing myself, my family and my friends. It keeps me from focusing on learning the Gospel better, teaching it to my children and taking care of the daily needs and desires of our family. By letting go of this clutter, this attachment, it is helping me keep my priorities right on track.